The She-DVD-Pilferer

This is Belinda Nomoustachorbeard for ZBT's Local Library News. Leading the news today is a tale of excess, denial and wonder....from the webpages of Dumb as a Blog is the story of the Iowa City Public Library's very own She-DVD-Pilferer. She checks 'em out, but doesn't bring 'em back.
Dumb as a Blog: Library Scofflaw Booked
This woman abused her library privileges to obtain 53 different titles and has yet to return them. After sending a stern letter from the library reminding her to uphold the policies she signed her name to, This should be a lesson to all library users that fine accrual does not pay. That brings us to the end of another segment of ZBT's Local Library News. Thanks for tuning in folks and remember to pay attention to the fiction between the pages and the action between the aisles!

Local Library News - A SRP Promo

here's an audio promo that me and my best friend dante recorded for the library summer reading program. i loved creating the voice of belinda nomoustachorbeard and i think it would be fun to translate her character and possibly gary fancypants into fictitional news anchors reporting on zany, but true library news.
stay tuned, folks, for your local library news!

Reference Questions From Beyond: Imagination

Question: "I need a book on imagination."
Customer: a girl in the 3rd grade and her father
What They Were Really Looking For: after excavating her request (aka the reference transaction) i found out that her assignment really was to define imagination as well as how one develops it and uses it. fucking ridiculous.
this is another great example of stupid teachers handing out stupid assignments. dissecting imagination is hardly 3rd grade level work. and i would really like to see a teacher walk into the average public library and find a book that is on their reading level that would satisfy that assignment, let alone on a level that is appropriate for a 3rd grader. idiots!
What Materials Were Checked Out: Could You, Would You by Trudy White and the American Heritage Children's Dictionary for a definition of imagination.

not defeated

at 9:45 this morning i stood in my children's area and did a slow pan around the place. tears were welling up in my eyes and i was making every effort to stop them before they fell. i didn't want to show any signs of defeat.
so far my summer reading program has been a flop. not a big 500 lb. belly flop, but a oops-i-slipped-off-the-diving-board-and-fell-in flop. kids are signing up, but not following through. the staff is totally confused by the procedure i laid out for the program. attendance at my events is low. headquarters keep on sending more and more stuff to add to the minutia. i'm thoroughly frustrated with it all. the only time i'm happy is when the kids exchange the coins they earn for reading for the prizes.
and its only july for goodness sakes! i've another full month of this madness.

the only thing i am looking forward to is my upcoming sidewalk chalk festival. its going to a crazy event because i have so much going on at one time, but i think, at the very least it will boost my spirits again, and at the most raise the community's awareness of the children's services @ my library.

what i've learned so far for future planning and especially for next year's summer reading program:
1. keep it simple. i love cool titles, bright colors and exercising my amateur graphic designing skills for flyers, but unfortunately, people don't get it. so go minimal.

2. espionage. visit other libraries to see what they're doing. steal ideas. don't trust what people say when you run ideas by them. find out what really works.

Sort of a Librarian's Reference Question of the Year

or at least its the reference question of the year so far. its rather early in the year, but i doubt it will get any worse than this. here it goes....

"When did racism end?"

are you serious? what country have you lived in for the past....for your entire life? i can't imagine that someone actually believes that racism ended. the only logic i can pull from this is that the customer didn't know the definition of racism. maybe she meant the civil rights movement or apartheid or suffrage. or, maybe she's just a dumdy nut.